Monday, April 4, 2011

You're Either With Me or With the Trolls

Last night, Steve & I went to see Charlie Sheen's live show. It was not as good as I had hoped for. I really had been hoping to hear his ranting and raving. I wanted to hear about how he has tigerblood and adonis DNA. I wanted to hear about the goddesses. Instead, I got to hear some doof ask him questions that didn't really have much to do with anything ("Who likes the Cubs?" or "Who likes the Sox?" or "Who went #2 during the break?") or questions Charlie couldn't answer. (What did happen in Aspen?") There was no boo-ing him like they did in Detroit. The crowd was good for people watching. And I did learn a few things about Charlie:

Charlie got his "fuckin kids back". OOOK. A. I didn't know this. B. Your "fuckin" kids? NIIIICCEEE.

Charlie apologized to Jon Cryer for calling him a troll. He said Jon is a "rock star" and he was wrong for saying otherwise.

Charlie isn't able to get Obama on the telephone. (Are any of us?) We pay his salary and he feels we should be able to call him. Um. Alright.

Charlie wrote checks for about $200,000 to Heidi Fleiss during the '90's. (and that was "'90's dollars" which would be the equivalent of "a billion dollars" today.) Ok. He's comfortable admitting to this. Personally, I have a hard time believing he has to pay for sex but if that is what he chooses to do with his money on his own time, that is his business. And, I think there's a reason he prefers it. I will get back to this.

Charlie also shared with us that the hooker that was with him in the Plaza Hotel in NYC did not have sex with him. And, she stole his watch. (This is why 2 is the magic number. 2 women is all you need, he says. He has 2 eyes..one for each of them). It's a love triangle. "We all took Geometry. We know what a triangle is." And, he says, he's the top point.

Charlie would go back to work on Two and a Half Men if CBS would just call.

Is Charlie bipolar? Could be. I'm not a professional. But then again, who doesn't have a slightly altered mental state now and then?  If  he is, some meds would probably help. But, I know a lot of people who choose to not take meds. Again, his own personal choice.

Charlie is a failure at marriage. 3 marriages and 3 strikes. He is not cut out for it. And, he explained why. And, to me, it kind of made sense.  Charlie wants what Charlie wants, when he wants it, how he wants it, where he wants it. Period. He wants freedom. He wants to be able to still have all his hobbies. (his hobbies include crack and internet porn....not necessarily everyone's first choices, but, again, it's his life) To me, it sounds like Charlie wants what every man wants. Every man wants to be able to still have their "freedom". Men do not want to give up what they enjoy when they get married. Men still want to be able to have their friends and watch sports and hang with the guys and not be told by someone they can or cannot, when they can (or cannot) or how they can. (or cannot) They also want to be able to have sex with lots of women. A lot of men are willing to give up certain things in order to be married and have a family. Some men are not willing to. Charlie tried. It didn't work (three times) This is why he loves his goddesses. They "allow him" to be who he is. He has his freedom with them. (Probably doesn't hurt they he essentially is paying them to let him be this way, but ya know, these are just details) I think this is why he prefers sex with hookers. He pays them. They do whatever he wants. They don't tell him what to do. He's satisfied (usually) and they allow him his "freedom". To me, an empty life of just sexual satisfaction sounds meaningless and unfulfilled. To Charlie, it sounds like exactly what he wants. Throw in some fuckin kids and he's good to go.

Good luck to him.

Will I still keep up with the news on the latest with him? You betcha. I can't help it.

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