Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Happy Passover! Remember Where Your Bread is Buttered!

Last night was the 1st Seder for Passover. We were at my parents house. We don't do a "real" seder. We do a couple blessings, the kids read the 4 questions and goodbye, good luck, we eat.  I have to say, Zion is such an incredible reader. He has been since about 3 years old. But he read his question last night with such ease, and knew when to pause for punctuation, and was able to pronounce EVERY difficult word. It really was so cool to watch. :o) The yelling started soon after we sat down, so that was normal. (Good thing I brought 4 bottles of wine.) Tessi's boyfriend, Mac, joined us. This was his 1st Seder. He has spent a lot of time with our family so he's used to the "loud discussions" but I'm sure this was semi-amusing for him. Especially the book my mom gave him called something like, "My First Passover", which is meant for tiny children.

The boys eat in the kitchen. They get fed before we even sit down. They get their soup so that they sit quietly. (As quiet as kids can be with the tv on and discussion amongst themselves.) After a couple courses and we are sitting actually eating dinner, my mom decides to share a story with us. You see, she got my uncle his own personal sized gravy boat. The dishes she uses for Passover are very flat, no rim. So, my uncle doesn't like how careful he has to be about gravy dripping from the plate.  Tessi and I ask her if she stole it. She makes a face. Oh. So she did. Not the first time she's stolen an item from a restaurant. (she likes salt and pepper shakers, and more importantly, Sweet n Low, Equal and Splenda, as well as stirrers, tea bags and napkins) She proceeds to go on and explain the story of the Crate and Barrel outlet in Vermont (I think it was Vermont. Tessi and I couldn't stop laughing long enough to really hear details.) The story goes on and on and eventually, she gets the gravy boat at an outlet in New Hampshire. (???) Then we move on to a new topic. 10 minutes later, my dad, who has been sitting at the table the ENTIRE time, asks when she's going to tell us the story about the gravy boat. Really?

Mac wanted more food but he was cornered in at the table. My mom tells Tessi she should go get Mac some more. She states she isn't his wife. My mom points out that once you are, then you no longer get him any food. He can do it himself. You're supposed to do it when you are dating. So, Tessi gets up and says this better produce a better diamond. Oh. Ok. Cause one time you got up and put some more turkey on a plate. That makes a lot of sense. Someone told her she should know where her bread is buttered. This seemed to confuse her. Maybe it was the wine. Or, maybe Tessi was just being Tessi.

Conversation continues, after many interruptions from Simon asking when Grandpa is going to hide the Afikomen and him calling my cell phone from my parents ancient house phone. Simon found it fascinating.  Then, my dad calls the house from his cell phone. Simon answers very politely. My dad is whispering and covering the mouthpiece, like he always does. (If you haven't witnessed this, its freaking hilarious. He covers the mouthpiece thinking people can hear him better when really, he sounds like a terrorist calling to make a bomb threat.) My dad keeps asking Simon if he can speak to someone. Simon cannot understand him. Finally he says, "Jordan isn't here. Goodbye." Then he hung up. (My dad never said Jordan's name, so I don't know where that came from.) Simon tells us the guy on the phone sounded just like Grandpa does when he covers the phone to talk. (He did a live demonstration. ) Hysterical laughter ensues.  In the meantime, my mom tells us she remembers everything. Yet, in the same breath says, "What were we just talking about?" Mhmmmmm.

My lazy sons took over half an hour to find the Afikomen. It literally was in front of their faces. All 4 of them were smack dab staring at it at one point or another and NOT ONE OF THEM found it. It was re-hidden twice. Andrew finally found it. It was so painful to watch.

Tonight, we head back to my parents house for round 2. Jordan and Jenna join us tonight, as well as my cousin, Amy. (yea!!!) Should be another interesting evening. Maybe my parents won't even remember last night and we can just re-enact the whole thing for those who weren't physically with us. We already know some weren't mentally all there.

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