Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Just Call Me Leona Helmsley

This morning as Steve and I were getting ready for work, he called me Leona Helmsley. Really? That's pretty harsh, even for me. I've been called many a name in my day.....but I don't think I've ever been called "the queen of mean".

I make my kids clean up after themselves. I make them clear their dishes from the table. I make them hang up their jackets.  I tell my kids that when it's too cold out, they cannot wear shorts (Too cold has now been established as lower than 60 degrees.)  I tell my children to brush their teeth twice a day. (I know they don't always listen.) I remind my children to say "please" and "thank you". I make them eat fruit and vegetables and do their homework. This makes me "mean".

I yell at my husband, too.(He'd be more than happy to verify that for you.) I remind him when things need to be done or taken care of. I remind him that certain things are his responsibility. (I pretty much handle everything. Once in a while, I ask him to do something.) For example, HE got a red light violation in Northfield, in MY car. The ticket came in the mail. I asked him OVER and OVER again to please take care of it. Yesterday, he finally did it. I was supposed to be happy to spend over $100 because he "remembered to do it before the ticket fine doubled".  Seriously?

At work, I yell at the guys I work with. Why? Because I care. This morning, someone who shall remain nameless, was outside and picked up what he thought was a needle. He brought it into the office. I asked him WTF he was doing. He said it wasn't a needle--it only had glue in it. Well, how did he know that?? I mean, if you THOUGHT it as a needle, WHY ON EARTH would you pick it up???? Then, he told me that air and bleach kills HIV/AIDS and to not worry. I made him Google this to prove it to me. Turns out, he was correct. BUT, really, why risk it??????? So I continued to yell. Then he told another guy we needed more girls in the office. Apparently, I am losing my likability here- as if I've never lost it anywhere else.

I don't really care if people think I am mean. I don't walk around smiling. People have always thought I'm cold, snobby and stand-offish. So? Who gives a shit? I am who I am. If you don't like it, move on. Otherwise, stick around. I can make you laugh and I can cook you a fabulous meal. Just bring your earplugs with for dinner if you don't want to hear the yelling.

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