My Simon will turn 7 next month...pretty hard to believe. He arrived via scheduled C-Section on Monday, June 21st at 10:06am. He weighed in at 8lbs, 11ozs (identical to his big brother, Andrew) and was 21 inches long. I ran a fever later in the evening after his delivery and was having a hard time breathing. So....after rapid IV fluids ( a couple bags in a short period of time) being pumped into me and a little oxygen, all was well again. So I thought.
As a lot of moms do after arriving home from the birth of their children, they get on the scale to see how much weight has come off. Much to my shock and dismay, I was NINE POUNDS HEAVIER than when I had left for the hospital 4 days before. How the hell is that even possible when one gives birth to an almost 9 pound baby?? Shouldn't I weigh at least 8lbs, 11ozs less?????? Instantly, I burst into tears. (not such a rare occurrence as I burst into tears all throughout that pregnancy) I was told I never should have gotten on the scale; that I was wearing clothes; that I had eaten that day; and a whole slew of other excuses from people trying to make me feel better. Ok, fine. Maybe they were right. I'll just weigh in tomorrow morning, after I pee, before I eat or drink anything to see the real results. Once again, bad, bad idea. The 9 pounds were still there.
Apparently, when one is pumped full of IV fluids, one tends to retain the fluids. (at least, I do) That Sunday night, the night before Simon's bris, I literally was up peeing EVERY 20 MINUTES throughout the entire night. Sure enough, I got on the scale in the morning and the 9 pounds were gone. (This still doesn't explain the 8lb, 11oz baby not being there, but, again, I am me, and where something can wrong, it will.) I looked (and felt) like an over inflated Stay Puff Marshmallow Man, except that I had a really good tan going on.
The same thing happens when I have the stomach flu. I hear stories from many people telling me that they drop 5-10 lbs after having it. Me?? NOTHING! How is that even possible????????? So, after having the stomach bug this past weekend, I got on the scale. Why I was shocked or even remotely surprised, I have no idea. Because, as sure as the sky is blue and the grass is green, I weigh the same thing I did before getting sick. Mhmmm. Just call me the 8th wonder of the world.
I guess my not being able to let go of the weight is similar to me not being able to let go of other things in my life. I can forgive, but I can never forget. I ALWAYS remember. And, I will bring these things up over and over again in arguments and conversations. Why? I don't know. I probably would be a happier and more relaxed person if I did--in fact, I am pretty sure I would be. I am envious of people who are capable of it. I know I am in control of myself and therefore, it is ultimately up to me as to whether I hang on or let go. I guess, as someone who always has some meat on her bones, I'll always have meat inside me as well. (That's what she said.)