I Prefer Female Strippers

Last week, I was at work talking with Big Daddy and Video Dave about Administrative Professionals Day. They mentioned that they had hired a male stripper for me. I said I'd rather have a female stripper. Suddenly, I had their undivided attention. Silence came over the office. All eyes were on me. I, then of course, had to explain myself.

Let me start by saying I am no prude. I don't believe that men who go see strippers are sexist. No one held a gun to these women's heads. They chose to be strippers. In my opinion, these are women who have jobs, who make money and are not taking advantage of the "system". I have no problem with these women.  The men who choose to go visit these women are another story.  I get the whole Bachelor Party thing. I think it's stupid, but I get it. Men who feel the need to visit strip clubs often are a whole other cup of tea.

I have been to a strip club and watched female strippers.  It doesn't do anything for me, but I am not offended by it either. I also found it to be a very quiet, subdued experience. Music was playing quietly, men sat and sipped their drinks and others sat and had lap dances. Then there were those special men who chose to head to the VIP room with the stripper of their choice for a private dance. Kudos to the strippers!!! Any guy who thinks by paying more money for a private dance is going to get him the stripper's phone number or a date has serious issues. But more power to the women who convince these guys otherwise. They are raking in the money and I say "Go girl!"

Now, I did have an experience at a strip club with male strippers in Vegas that I found most repulsive.  And, not so much because of the strippers, but rather because of the women who were watching the strippers. Most of these women were there for bachelorette parties. So, these women were drunk and not in the greatest state of mind. (Or maybe this was their normal state of mind, in which case, I feel even worse for them.) I do not understand the thrill of watching men (many of whom are gay, not that there is anything wrong with it, but realize, they have no interest in you) who have stuffed their banana hammocks with socks so they can shake it at you. Male strippers do not get naked. What is the big excitement here? That you PAID a guy to dance all over you while he's all sweaty and gross? And, even if these men did get naked, would that really be so exciting? I don't see the big whoop in seeing a naked man's body. I get why it's hot to look at a woman's body--women are beautiful creatures with curves and features. Men don't have a lot. And, walking around looking like Pinocchio is nothing exciting.  Furthermore, I think the reason they don't get naked is exactly for that reason. They wouldn't look like Pinocchio---they wouldn't be turned on or excited.  The women in the audience aren't doing it for them. So, it would just be a let down for all of those women. I also was repulsed that these men kept insisting that I "wanted" a lap dance. Nope. I didn't. I was just fine with my $10 bottle of water.  When the rude and ugly stripper put his hand on my purse and told me that I had the money to buy the dance and I should just do it, I got up and left. I would've been less offended if he had touched my boob.  Don't tell me what to do with my money and do not put your hands on my purse.  It was expensive and G-d only knows where your hands have been.

Downstairs in this strip club were the female strippers. It was so quiet and mellow down there. It was dark...women were dancing.....men sat quietly watching.  Corey Feldman, the washed up '80's actor walked in.  I would've loved to sat and had a drink with him and discussed all the fake boobs. But, my oldest son had been busy texting me the ENTIRE time I was in this club and I really needed to call him back. He was leaving for overnight camp the next day and was having major anxiety. (This trip had been planned way in advance of him deciding to go to overnight camp. I wouldn't have intentionally left him days before he was leaving for 4 weeks.) He kept calling and texting me and I couldn't tell him where I was. So, I lied and said I was gambling and the dealer wouldn't let me speak on the phone while I played. (not a lie)

After sharing this story with Big Daddy and Video Dave, they convinced me to blog about it so that all of you could also know why I prefer female strippers. So, I hope you have enjoyed. Maybe we can get a group together and go see some dancers.