Monday, April 28, 2014

The Choo Choo Dance to the Bathroom

Woke up today to the sound of the rain hitting my window. I was snuggled in my bed, listening to the sound of everyone else getting read to leave the house. Monday is my day off and how nice to not have to get up right away and head out into the gross weather.  I laid in bed for a while and decided to get up and start my day. I came downstairs to make myself some coffee. I turned on my Keurig and got my coffee going. I went to the fridge and to my dismay, there was no cream. No big deal, I thought. I went out to the garage fridge because I always have extra out there. I opened the door and to my horror, there wasn't any. None. Nothing.  No extra cream.  I am drinking coffee with 1% milk....I might as well be drinking it black.  My oldest son, Andrew, must have finished up the cream and didn't bother to tell me.  Yes, my son drinks coffee. No, it isn't stunting his growth.  If you don't think kids/young adults should drink coffee, then don't let your kid drink it.  See, I am not one of those super patient, politically correct mothers. I never have been.

Yesterday, I went to breakfast/brunch with my 2 big boys, Andrew and Issac.  We had to wait 40 minutes for a table. While we were waiting, in came the "perfect" family.  Husband, wife, (both beautiful looking) 4 kids, (3 sons, and the youngest, a daughter) and grandma.  These kids were VERY close in age and were all adorable.  Mom had a flat belly and a gorgeous smile.  Dad was hot and really young looking.  But, all had dark hair, not your stereo-typical blondes.  They had a reservation and were seated before us.  Twice during the time we were still waiting, mom took different kids to the bathroom. (This, after she took all 4 to the bathroom before they even sat down in order to prevent mid-meal potty breaks.) She was still smiling during this and was still walking like a model in her heels. (They had just come from church...everyone dressed beautifully.) We were seated soon after this. We ordered our food and there went mom, again, on another potty break, but this time, making a choo choo train formation with the kid.  I told my boys she was unbelievable, that I'd be having a fit by now.  Issac asked me if I ever did a choo choo train dance to the bathroom when they were little. I told him no way.  The reason behind the pre-meal bathroom visit was to prevent running back and forth constantly.  Granted, all kids do that, need to make the extra visit, usually right when the hot food arrives, so that mom never gets a hot meal. I told him I was never happily skipping thru a restaurant on my 4th bathroom run. Shit, I didn't do it on any bathroom run.  Normal people don't do that.  He looked at me like I was a witch.  I told him and Andrew right there-I just wasn't that mom, I'm not that mom, I will never be that mom.

I give this woman a ton of credit.  She seemed to have popped out her Barbie-esque babies one right after the other. And, her body looked A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.  The kind of woman that you would normally give really dirty looks to.  But, her dress was totally appropriate, nothing revealing. Heels weren't crazy high, she had tights on. Hair was in a pony tail and her make up was nice. Her kids were all put together and super cute and well behaved. Most importantly, she was so patient with the kids and the whole situation.  She is the total opposite of me.  When my kids were that young, I would've been flipping out--about getting them to not be screaming, about getting them to sit still, about getting them to eat, about getting them to do their business in 1 or 2 trips, about getting my husband to split the trips, about not getting to eat, my list could go on and on. And, I certainly wouldn't have been dancing my way to the bathroom, smiling at everyone on my path.

These kids probably acted the way they did because their mother is a calm, happy person. (I don't know her...she may be heavily medicated.)  Articles I've read state that kids will reflect their parents behavior.  Happy calm parents equal happy calm kids.  Tense, stressed parents, equal, well, my kids.  Now that I'm getting older, I realize that there are many benefits to taking a deep breath and trying to remain calm. I wish I had known this when I started having kids. I was young and stupid.  I had no idea what I was doing. Many days now, I still have no idea what I am doing. I am just winging this whole motherhood thing-flying by the seat of my larger pants.  But, I do believe that if you are calm and happy and relaxed, your kids (if there are no serious issues) will tend to be calm and happy and relaxed. And, if not, there's always Xanax.

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