Friday, March 18, 2011

An Epic Tale

About a year ago, my best friend Tammy and I were discussing how to celebrate our upcoming 35th birthdays. We decided we wanted to take a cruise for a week, with our husbands, sans kids. So, we went ahead and booked the trip, without having any child care arrangements really in place, because as my mother always tells me, "we'll handle it". (We refers to a team of people in my family, because as Hilary Clinton once said, "it takes a village" and with our nutty situations, it truly does). So after much preparation and what not, we leave town and head for Miami!!!

We arrive in Miami, all of our luggage shows up at baggage claim (this right here should be enough to say our vacation was great) and head to the Holiday Inn right near the port.  We check in and head to our rooms (I should tell you upfront that my husband, as a government employee, is entitled to certain discounts, so this hotel offered one to us, and so we took advantage. All this meant was a queen size bed and not a king. Fine. Oh. And a free breakfast the next morning. Winning!)) Immediately, Steve is having a hissy fit about how the bed is too small, the room is too hot, we're all gonna get killed and why do 8 different pizza places slide menus under the doors. Can you envision the good time going on here? It's midnight and I just wanna sleep a bit before we board the ship. So, after a night of no sleep because the prince felt a pea under the mattress, we eat our breakfast, get in 2 separate cabs, drive to the port, our cab driver reminds us to tip her (um, really?) and we have arrived to see our giant ship awaiting us.

Boarding was a breeze and we attack the buffet, as everyone else does, because none of us have eaten in 2 hours. The only mistake we made was not packing bathing suits in our carry on bags because we couldn't get into our rooms and we didn't have our luggage. No biggie. We spent days having a MARVELOUS time just relaxing and having nothing to do. Then, Thursday hits.

Wednesday night, Steve and Mike (Tammy's husband) decide they want to sleep in the next morning. Cause this trip has been so strenuous on them and napping 3 times a day isn't enough?! But, no problem. It's an "at sea" day and that means you must get up and reserve chairs at the pool. Tammy and I are pros at this. So, we tell the guys we will handle it. I wake up Thursday morning. Tammy texts me to say she's already ready to go so she will go get the chairs and that I should just meet her at breakfast. I tell her no problem and that I am 5 minutes behind her. I grab all my stuff, excited for my day in the sun, and head to the elevator. But, the next thing I knew, I was in the medical center with a woman jabbing a needle in my arm, blood flying and me screaming (ok, the me screaming part is not so unusual)

Apparently, I had a seizure. The security team saw me on the cameras and sent help. Then they called Steve in the room, who by the way, had no idea I wasn't in the room. And Tammy, as she always does, knew it was me when the Captain was announcing trouble on deck 12, and came straight to the medical center.  I would try to imitate the Captain's voice here for you but it won't work and the only ones who would laugh would be Tammy and me, so I won't even bother, but just believe me when I tell you, it was hysterically funny and I do a great impression of him! Anywho, after getting yelled at by the doctor and nurse for being belligerent and swearing (do you see a pattern here?) they give me IV fluids, yellow Gatorade (I only like red...seriously...and if I am forced to, orange. But yellow???? Who the hell likes this flavor of pee looking drink???) and some plain chicken and rice and sent me on my way. No answers as to why this happened or what may have caused it....I was told to follow up with my doctors at home. I slept most of the day and by Friday morning I was ready for the sun again, only to find it was cloudy and chilly. The highlight of the day: watching another cruise passenger get taken off the ship by a tiny little rescue boat driven by the Coast Guard that was bouncing in the ocean. Seriously, this person must have been on the verge of death to want to not wait the one day until we were back in Miami to be taken care of. If the little boat ride didn't kill him, it's a miracle.


  1. Glad you are ok. Bummer to blow a whole day on your cruise over a medical mystery!

  2. I wish I had been there for you! Let's hope for a medical mystery free cruise next time :-)