We all know I am not mother of the year. I lose my chance at this award each year by no later than January 3rd. But, what I did yesterday takes the cake. I have never caused one of my children such harm that an ER visit was necessary; that was until yesterday. I will back track. Two months ago, I allowed Simon and Issac to get their ears pierced. Issac had been asking for some time, and Simon joined the band wagon and they caught me on a good day, so I said ok. Off to Claire's Boutique we went. What used to cost $5 to pierce both ears now costs over $30 and that was for ONE EAR! The boys have been so good about cleaning their ears with the "special" Claire's solution and twisting the earrings that I never would have imagined what happened.
As you may know, based on yesterday's blog, the school nurse called to report that Simon's ear was infected. I have to say that this woman calls for EVERY LITTLE THING so I didn't really take her call that seriously. She said she cleaned the ear. I told her I'd take the earring out when he got home. Simon came home. I looked at his rather swollen, inflamed ear. Ok...not good but nothing a little Neosporin won't fix. I tell him I am going to remove the earring, clean the earring and his ear really well and we'll put it back in. I barely touch his ear when he starts flipping out. Ok. This isn't going well. I tell him we are going to ice it so it won't hurt. Thank goodness for the Spongebob Boo Boo pack. We numb the ear. I attempt to take the backing off the earring and it's really stuck. So, stupidly, I tried to hold the tiny little cubic zirconia stud with my giant fingers and pull the backing when I accidentally, somehow, shoved the little stud into my poor Simon's ear lobe. The screaming was deafening and the blood starts pouring out. I couldn't believe what I had done. He was already hysterical so I tried to pull from the back side and all that did was make it worse. Way to go, me. I text Steve (who had just gotten out of work) and tell him to hurry because we need to get to the ER. Simon is screaming he doesn't want to go to the ER and that it's all my fault because I didn't try hard enough.
We arrived at Glenbrook's new ER (that I am sure my family has somehow paid for with all of our visits) and couldn't even find the entrance. We get in there and I had to explain what I did to my poor baby's ear. Looks like you wouldn't even believe. First, because I let my 6 year old BOY get an earring and second because I managed to shove an entire earring through his little lobe. The ER is very fancy now! 20 + rooms and glass and flat screen tv's and more cable channels than we have at home. We were in and out in less than an hour--shockingly! My poor Simon had to get a GINORMOUS shot to numb his earlobe--I swear this needle was only second in comparison to my brother Jordan's spinal tap needle. Steve and I had to hold his arms and his legs while the doctor gave it to him. Then, once numb, there was a scissors and tweezers involved. I couldn't watch. Zion watched the entire thing with fascination. The doctor somehow got the earring out without Simon needing stitches. He's got a bigger hole now but it will close up. He's on heavy oral antibiotics for 5 days and we will follow up with our doctor. He even asked the doctor when he could get the ear re-pierced!?!?! Seriously???? How about NEVER. As I left the ER...being flagged down with neon pink paper by a nurse telling me to make sure I pay my ER co-pay before we leave, another doctor literally ran and jumped in front of me to ask me how this happened. She was all like, "Oh I totally get the self-expression that kids have to have. I have a three year old......"
I was like, "Ok...he's the baby of 4. I was too tired to fight. I let him and #2 get earrings. It got infected. I tried to get it out and shoved it thru his ear. It was an accident." She laughed but I'm not sure she really thought it was that funny.
This was the worst damage I've done. When Andrew was about 3 or 4, he needed help zipping his pants and I accidentally caught his penis in the zipper. He yelled. Thank G-d there was no blood. But from then on I have never zipped any of my children's pants..ever. They either zip themselves or wear pants without zippers. It traumatized me for life.
Issac ended up with a black eye at 11 months old. Still have no idea how that happened. I went out for a girls night and Allan was home with him and Andrew. The next morning, I went to get Issac from his crib and there was my sweet boy with a giant black eye. No one ever knew what happened. But, we had to lie to our then doctor because both Issac and Andrew were in the midst of the never ending ear infections and we were at the doctor's office every 5 days at that point. So, we told him, when he of course asked us what happened, that he fell and hit his face on the edge of a table. He suggested corner pads to prevent that. Oh. Yeah. Thanks for that advice.
Even Zion has gotten hurt in my care. Right after we got married, Simon and Zion were playing in the basement. Andrew had a Scooby Doo bowling ball. They decided (at the age of 4) that it might be a fun ball to throw around. So they did. And it landed on Zion's finger. MAJOR hysterics ensued. Fingernail turned purple and then black and then fell off. Welcome to the family, Zion!
I am far from the perfect parent, clearly. I make mistakes. Everyday I learn something new. I, perhaps, have learned more than other parents. But, the boys are still all in one piece....just a few little things missing here and there, but overall in one piece. Hopefully, I won't do any more damage...but ya never know....we still have a lot of years to go.